Time Reconsidered for Retirees: What Still Deserves Me

When people talk about retirement, there’s a familiar script. You’ll spend your time on the three Gs: golf, going places, and grandchildren.

Frank Scavo said this with a smile. Sue Van Klink later added a fourth G: great friends. That addition matters more than it first appears to.

Because for many people retiring, time is no longer something to be filled. It’s something to be chosen.

For much of our working lives, time is something we manage. We schedule it, allocate it, defend it. We measure productivity by how much we get done in the hours available to us.

But later in life, that framing no longer fits.

Through my redirecting research, and in my own life, I’m seeing a shift that feels both subtle and profound. Time stops being primarily about doing and becomes about who and what it is for. And just as importantly, it becomes about being, being mindful and intentional about how time is spent.

This is not a time-management insight.(For context, I once thought time management was a critical success factor of successful redirection. It may be, but that’s for another conversation.)

This is a recognition of the value of time.

The Reality: Time Requires Care

One of the first truths that asserts itself for people later in life is practical and unavoidable: caring for our bodies and our lives takes more time. This may be true for everyone, but it becomes unmistakable in retirement, especially for me in my eighties.

This shows up clearly in some of the stories I’ve collected, Naomi Bloom’s most vividly, but it is not just Naomi. It is me, too.

Time now includes time for Pilates, stretch class, hiking, and golf. Not as lifestyle choices or indulgences, but as the foundation for everything else. For me, exercise is mandatory. It gives me the energy, stability, and well-being I need to be present, to contribute, and to show up as the best version of myself.

Time also includes the less visible work of aging alongside someone you love. For me, that has meant attending every medical appointment with my husband, navigating complex health systems, and sleeping in a chair by his hospital bed for three nights in a row. These moments don’t show up on calendars or productivity tools. They are simply part of what time now holds.

The Choice: Value, Contribution, and Connection

Because so much time is now spoken for, the time that remains becomes more precious. That forces choice.

For me, that choice centers on contribution and connection.

My redirecting research is where those two meet. On the surface, it is interviews, synthesis, and writing. Underneath, it is how I stay connected to colleagues and friends, how I remain intellectually engaged, and how I continue to reflect on my own next stage of life as someone redirected from paid work.

This work is a contribution, yes. It is also about relationships, conversation, and shared inquiry. Time spent this way feels alive. It is mandatory for me. Through this work, I feel relevant and recognized.

The Negotiation: Shared Time, Separate Time

Retirement introduces another reality that is talked about less openly: shared time must be renegotiated.

Bill Kutik’s story captures this with honesty and humor. When work and travel disappeared, constant togetherness became a strain. The breaks that work once provided turned out to matter more than either partner realized. Creating space helped restore balance.

Steve Blechman’s experience adds another dimension. After retiring, he became aware of not wanting to appear as though he was having too much fun while his wife continued to work. His restraint is an act of care, allowing her the freedom to make her own decisions about timing and transition.

These stories complicate the idealized image of retirement. Closeness does not always mean constant proximity. Time together still requires intention, boundaries, and mutual respect.

The Gentleness: Holding the Holidays Softly

All of this comes into sharper focus during the holidays. It certainly did for me. The holidays compress time and bring up emotions. They surface absence and fragility alongside celebration. It is no accident that people get sick, physically and emotionally, during this season.

What I’m learning, from the stories and from my own experience, is that the holidays don’t need to be managed better. They need to be held more gently.

Not every tradition needs to be preserved. Not every gathering needs to be attended. Sometimes the most meaningful use of time is quiet presence, remembrance, and choosing to be with the people who truly matter.

What Still Deserves Me, Now

This reflection began as an inquiry into time management. It has become something else entirely.

Time, at this stage of life, is not something to optimize. It is something to value. It asks for discernment, honesty, and care.

For me, the question that now guides my days is simple and ongoing:

What still deserves me, now?

That question is not about efficiency.

It is about energy, love, contribution, and connection.

And it is one I expect to keep asking.